Enjoying Candy

DO NOT ADJUST THE COLOR ON YOUR SCREEN! This is just Joey eating a Blue Raspberry Air Head candy. As you can see, he is thoroughly enjoying it.

Growing and Changing

I always find myself amazed at how quickly my kids grow and change. For example, Joey will learn a new word or phrase every day. Not only that, but one day he may say his own rendition of the word, and the next he will have learned to say it correctly. He used to call Aunt Megan 'Aunt May May' but a couple days later he was saying it correctly.

Baby Nick will be three months old soon! It doesn't seem like that much time has passed since I gave birth to him. Yesterday he got pretty close to laughing out loud. It was more of an extra exuberant squeal, but it sure was cute. He is such a 'busy' little boy when he is laying on the floor. He will not stop moving those arms and legs around. He is so strong too. Once he is able to get up on his hands and knees, there will be no stopping him! (Isn't he so precious all dressed up for church?!)

Joey of course can't allow Baby Nick to get his picture taken without getting one of himself as well! He loves 'taking' pictures as well. He picks the camera up, tells me to "say cheese" and then turns around the camera to 'show' me the picture and says, "Cyooote." (He draws out 'cute' whenever he thinks something is extra cute.) I have noticed that when Bubba smiles real big, like in this picture, his right eye is more squinty than his left. It's like that in all his pictures. What a goofy boy.

Laundry is on the schedule for today, so I better get to it.

More Trick-Or-Treating

Joey made me so proud. After every piece of candy he got, he said, "Taintoo" (which is Bubba talk for "thank you") with hardly any prompting!
Here is Bubba showing Mommy all the candy! Of course you can't actually see into his bag, but his face sure is cute. You can just see the anticipation of eating all the candy.
Here are the Owl and Bob the Builder. Owl is trying to pry candy out of his teeth and Bob is wondering when the picture taking is going to finally end!
LOOK AT ALL THAT CANDY!!! It will take us a long time to get rid of it all. I am planning on using it as a reward system, both for good behavior and also, hopefully, for potty training. We'll see how that goes. This is one tuckered tot! He usually wakes up when I stand up to move him to his bed, but he didn't even stir. He still didn't stir when I picked him back up!

One of the decorations at the warehouse was HUGE pinata style spider with dangling legs hanging from the ceiling. We pointed it out to Bubba and he scrunches up his nose and says, "Little gross." I have to agree, except making one correction to his statement. "A lot gross" is how I would classify a huge spider. It was more cute than scary though, and had a different colored sneaker on each foot.

After church today, I tried cutting Baby Nick's fingernails, and he threw the biggest fit. Well, I was getting frustrated and said in a not so quiet voice, "Oh hush will you?" Bubba was sitting in his highchair finishing his lunch and said, "Be nice. Okay, Mommy?" He sure told me! It's quite humbling to be corrected by your toddler.

Joey has a new excuse to get out of doing something he doesn't want to do. He says, "Too littohl." No Bubba, you are not to little to go to bed!

Nick tried teaching Joey to say "okie dokie" yesterday. It came out, "Dook a dookie." He also is very excited about VeggieTales right now. He always wants to hear LarryBoy sing. He also likes "Jooner" (Junior), Bobmato (Bob the Tomato), and he can recognize "Ranull" which is Mr. Nezzer, the pickle in his role as Randalf in The Lord of the Beans! And to make his father exceedingly proud, he will fake burp after every sip of water. I still make him say "scoozeem" after every "burp."

Some other cute words Joey says is "nurseesee" which is "nursery" at church. He also says, "freeserser" which is "refrigerator." I especially like "ehbident" and "deedohdent", which are 'elephant' and 'deoderant.'

He's so precious.

We start practicing twice a week for choir this week, so now I only have to wait until Tuesday! It should be a good week. Hopefully the snow won't keep me in!

Trick-Or-Treat

First, I want to give you an updated picture of the snow covered mountains. They are certainly getting more beautiful. This picture was taken yesterday on our way to trick-or-treating. This morning as we were getting ready for church, it was snowing. It continued to snow all through church, and by the time we came out of church, there was about six inches of snow covering the ground. Poor Joey was having a hard time walking through the snow that came up close to his knees!

The place we went trick-or-treating is a huge warehouse. The event is a fundraiser and every booth that was set up were sponsors. They had it set up so that you wound your way through the warehouse and each station has two or three sponsors handing out candy. Joey got more candy from one hour in a safe, warm, environment than he would if we were to take him out around the neighborhood. I prefer this much better as I do not plan on taking him out around the neighborhood. I'd prefer to take him to a harvest carnival at a church, but I haven't heard anything about our church putting on a harvest carnival.
Joey was dressed up as Bob the Builder, and he was so cute, if I do say so myself, completely without bias!

Baby Nick dressed up as a Motocross rider, and again, he was very cute! (Again, with no bias)
This is Cheryl, Nick's boss, and her significant other, Randy. They have been great to us. We went out for pizza afterwards.

This is Jack, Cheryl's grandson. He was dressed up as an owl. Yes, he's cute, but can't hold a candle to my boys, in my humble opinion! (Shhh, don't tell Cheryl I said so!)

As Requested

Jack-O-Lantern Cookies

2 - 8oz packages cream cheese
1 1/2 cup softened margarine (yes, use margarine in this case, not butter)
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 1/4 cup flour
1 Tablespoon milk
1 teaspoon grated orange rind
3 cup powdered sugar
red & yellow food coloring

Mix 1 1/2 packages of cream cheese, margarine, vanilla, and sugar. (Make sure the cream cheese is also softened and mix until there are no lumps.) Add the flour - mix.
Chill several hours.
Shape dough into 1 1/2 inch balls - placed on greased cookie sheet - flatten each ball with bottom of glass dipped in sugar.

Bake at 350 degrees for 12 - 15 minutes.

Icing:
Combine 1/2 package cream cheese, milk, and orange rind till well blended (again, no lumps.)
Gradually add powdered sugar
Add food coloring to taste

These cookies are best chilled. After baking the cookies, let them cool completely before icing. Then after icing, keep them refrigerated. You can also adorn them with a piece of candy corn!

Enjoy!!!

Mommy's Big Helper

Yesterday Bubba and I made Jack-O-Lantern cookies. My mom would make these cookies for Halloween and I thought that Bubba would enjoy them too. So I got everything out and had Bubba stand on a chair next to me. He was a VERY big help. He helped me pour the ingredients into the mixer and turn the mixer on. He was an expert taste tester, which I believe is his favorite part! (Who doesn't enjoy that part?)

After chilling the dough, you roll the cookies into balls and pat them flat with the bottom of a glass dipped in sugar. Bubba helped me with that part too. He was very good at putting the glass in the sugar and flattening out the cookies. When the cookies were all baked and frosted, Bubba again was my expert taste tester. He had two cookies, before dinner, and thought that he should have more! I think the cookies were a hit.

Baby Nick helped too, by only screaming for half the time! One day, he will be big enough to help in the kitchen as well. And that day will come way too fast!

Bubba is so funny. The other day, Nick and I were watching something on TV where the characters got in a food fight. Bubba runs up to the TV and yells, "Guys, guys, 'top it guys. I'll lipe it." (which means, stop it and I'll wipe it) Then he proceeds to wipe his hands over the TV as if to wash off the characters!

Then last night, I must have been really tired, which means that I get giggly. Joey got up out of bed about 10pm and wouldn't go back until Nick and I went to bed about 11:30pm. When we got in bed, Joey would not stop playing. He would climb all over us, scoot down to the bottom of the bed, and all the while offering up a running commentary on his actions. I could not stop laughing! Which, of course, made Joey play more. I think Nick ended up getting more frustrated with me than with Joey. We eventually all fell asleep, well after midnight. But I'm not sure if Joey fell asleep first or if I did! At least he slept in until 8:30am this morning.

Today is the day we are going "trick-or-treating" with Randy and Cheryl. Joey is very excited to be Bob the Builder this year. Not that he understands what Halloween is, which is fine with me. He just likes to wear the hard hat that the costume came with. I showed him a picture of his cousin Jesse dressed up as Bob the Builder a couple years ago. He was pretty excited to be just like Jesse. Baby Nick is going to be dressed up as a Motocross rider, another Jesse costume. They don't make many costumes for the 0-12 month range. Most places only carry 12-18 month size as the smallest. If we had enough foresight, we could have found something online to order, but this will be just as good. I want to find the black stocking cap that Joey wore when he was younger to be a "helmet" but I will have to find the right clothes box, and that might be a challenge!

Baby Nick is telling me his is very upset right now, so I better go take care of him. I will post pictures later of the boys dressed up.

Changes In Choir

It was choir night tonight. I always look forward to Thursdays. Especially since I missed church on Sunday,as the boys were sick, it was nice to be there tonight. Lenore told me she missed me in church...it was nice to know they noticed we weren't there. It made me feel less like a visitor to the church.

So for the last couple weeks, Pastor has been saying that he wants to pull a couple songs from the program they did last year and add it to this years program. When we started tonight, he said he had decided to take a couple of this years program and add it to last years program instead! So all the practice we have put in for the last month has been almost in vain!

That's okay. The program they did last year is much better, sounds more like Christmas. It was exciting to sing this program. It put a smile on my face more than the other one ever did. Alice (the pastor's wife) and I were the only altos tonight, but we had one visitor who sang with the altos tonight, but I am not sure if she will be back. She asked Alice if she had formal training. Alice put her hand on my shoulder and said, "I haven't had any formal training, but I think this one has. She comes in and picks up the music so quickly!" That was very nice recognition. It was also nice that I was able to pick up the new program just as quickly, especially since I was one of the only ones who hadn't heard it before.

Nick asked me to come to work with him tomorrow afternoon to catch him up on his filing. That is 'busy' work that he doesn't have time for. He is only allowed to work eight hours a day, as overtime pay is not in the budget, however, he has about ten hours of work a day that needs to be done. The poor guy can never get caught up, and any little bit that I can do for him helps.

Even though Joey should have been in bed long ago, he is sitting in the recliner next to me "talking" to Aunt Angie on Daddy's cell phone. He has his legs crossed and is leaning his arm against the arm of the chair. The conversation is going like this, "Allo, hi Angie. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. (Then he holds the phone up for me to say 'hi') Bye. Gud-bye." He has had this same conversation about five times now. He is so cute! He even moves his eyes around as if he were really listening to someone on the other end of phone!

I have a very wiggly baby Nick in my lap which makes it very difficult to type. So I will say my "good-nights" and spend some time snuggling with my Bug.

More Snow Pictures

First Snowfall

I wanted to show you pictures of our first snowfall. There's not much on the ground yet, but according to the forecast, we are supposed to have scattered snow showers today and then clear up and be sunny tomorrow. Sunny and a high of 31 degrees. I know the pictures are a little dark. No, they weren't taken last night....they were taken at 8:30 AM!! We are still waiting for the sunrise.
This would have been a beautiful picture of the trees across the street, but it was too dark. You can see the snow is still coming down though!

This picture is of the corner of the property next door to us...it too is a little dark, but I love pictures of the snow on the trees. You can see on the ground that there is not that much snow, but it at least mostly covers the ground.

This is the view out our back door. There is a "wooded" area back there that looks real pretty with all the snow, but again, you can't see too far because it is not light enough.

I will post more pictures when the sun comes out and you can actually see. I just couldn't wait to share the first snow with you.

Making Holiday Plans

We have started making holiday plans. For Halloween, we will take the boys to a place that has indoor "trick-or-treating". I don't know too much about it, except that Randy and Cheryl take Cheryl's grandson there. They invited us to join them. That will be fun for Bubba.

We invited Randy and Cheryl and their families over for Thanksgiving. If they don't come to our house, we were also invited over there! So either way, we will probably be spending Thanksgiving with them. If they were to come to our house we would have twelve people here, including the four of us. I would love to have them over here so I can share with them my family's favorite Thanksgiving tradition: eating dessert first! That way, we are not too full to enjoy our pies, and after our tummies settle after dinner....we break out the pies again!!

I know that, whatever we do, we will have a great day. But, even now, I am having a hard time thinking about the holiday season coming up, and making plans that don't involve my family. I have always been able to celebrate with my family. It will be so different this year. I hope that I can be a hospitable hostess or a gracious guest despite how I might feel.

I haven't even begun to feel Christmasy yet...and for those who know me well, know how unusual that is for me. Although I hold off until after Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas, I usually start listening to Christmas music by the beginning of September at the latest (it's been as early as the middle of July before.) But this year, I just don't have it in my heart yet. I know I have been singing the choir Christmas program, but as I have said before, it is more a Christmas worship program than traditional Christmas songs.

One thing I will miss about being with home, is playing Christmas duets on the piano with my mom. There's only a couple that we do, and every year we have to "re-learn" the pieces, but we have so much fun. We usually end up laughing so hard we can hardly play, and I wouldn't call the "Hallelujah Chorus" a funny song (except when we play it!) I'll also miss sitting around the piano singing with my brother and sisters. We are such a musical family, we have all been singing since we were young children. Since my husband doesn't sing, I will have no one to sing with this year.

At least we'll have a white Christmas! And New Year, and Valentine's Day, and St. Patrick's Day, and possibly Easter and Mother's Day as well.

Snowing

And so it begins. It started snowing today. Just little flakes drifting here and there, nothing to stick. But that only means one thing......the snow is coming, soon. I heard on the news one day that the average snowfall for the month of October is 7", but that average is based off a very wide scale. Some years there may be no snow or just trace amounts, and another year there may be 2-3 feet. Hopefully we will be able to close out this month with just trace amounts!

I do look forward to being able to post pictures of the snow covered world up here so that those of you at home can see. Now that Joey is a little older, it will be a lot of fun watching him out in the snow. Nick wants to teach him how to make and throw snowballs. Aunt Angie in Texas has requested he make a snow angel for her.

Joey's new word lately is "fine." You know, said with attitude. I'll tell him to keep the crayons on the table. He'll sigh, "Fine." Or he'll throw his hands up as if to say "what did I do?" and say "fine." He makes me giggle!

Another of his habits that is just as cute, but completely unacceptable is pointing at Mommy or Daddy when he is mad. He will get this huge scowl on his face, big pouting lips, and point his finger as if to say, "No Mommy...naughty." I know he got that from us, as both Nick and I will get a stern look on our faces and point to him saying "no" to something. We have really made a conscious effort not to point as we are admonishing him for the disrespect he shows us when he points. We don't want to confuse the poor kid!

I seem to blog mostly late at night when everyone is sleeping, but I should be sleeping too, or I might miss my chance. So I will sign off for now. Good night.

Monday Morning

Good Morning! I read my sister-in-law's blog about how she was up last night with sick kids who have colds...I know how she feels. Bubba came into bed with us about midnight last night sounding like he was trying to cough up a lung. All night long, I was up and down making sure that when he had a coughing spell he also had some water to help soothe his throat.
As bad as it sounds, I wish it were my kids that got my sister-in-laws' kids sick, because that would mean we were together. I sure miss them!
On the bright side, Baby Nick has still been sleeping very well. He goes to sleep around 11pm or 11:30pm and doesn't get up to eat until 4am or 5am. I do have to put his pacifier back in every once in awhile, but other than that...he is doing great. Here is a picture of him in very snuggly pajamas for the first time! He is usually full of smiles when he first gets up...then later in the day, watch out! He can be a menace. Well, maybe I am exaggerating just a little, but he can wear on me by the end of the day.

What's on the docket for today? The dishes need to be finished, the living room cleaned (again), and the box of toys and books that I brought in from the garage needs to be put away. That one will take a while because Joey has decided to get into the box while it sat on the landing and throw out just about everything....so I have to repack the box in order to get it up the stairs in one trip, before I can even put it away. As Angie would say...he's so cute! That should keep me busy today...if I can even get to it all. It doesn't seem like much, but I have to get the boys in just the right mood to be able to get anything done. I suppose I should try and get breakfast for myself first, give me energy for the day.

Have a wonderful day

The Color of Denim

That is how I would describe Baby Nick's eyes. The color of denim....dark blue denim around the outside and a medium blue denim around the pupil. They are so beautiful. His dad's are more of a light blue, a little on the translucent side, but still has some of the "denim" quality to them. They too, are beautiful....but Baby Nick's are extraordinary. I hope they don't change.

Baby Nick still has the small patch of blonde hair on the left side of his head, although it is getting harder to see as his hair is thining out some. He has the ring around the back that is very nearly bald, and I suppose the rest of his hair will go as well, just as Bubba's did. However, once Joey's hair started growing back, it came in very full, and beautifully curly. I can only hope that Bug's will come back the same. Even if it stayed straight instead of curly, I hope it is full.

I just wanted to give a more detailed physical description for those at home that are missing seeing him grow and change. I wish the picture did better justice to his eyes, but it's quite difficult to get a close up of just his eyes without the picture being distorted.

More Adorable Vocabulary

Here is Bug wearing his first pair of jeans! He is so cute, but doesn't quite fill them out.

Of course, Bubba couldn't let the baby get a picture taken without one himself. Poor thing, you can see his runny nose. We were geting Bubba ready for a bath. We stayed home from church today because both boys have colds, although Bug seems to be getting better.

Joey has some creative ways of saying new words and I love to share them. He makes me laugh.

Some of his new words:

"biper sand" is diaper sand, which is his way of describing the granuels left on his skin from a diaper he's worn for awhile, like overnight.

"birsey", as in happy birsey or birsey cake. (obviously it's 'birthday') The other day he drew a 'birsey cake' on his magna doodle type toy. He wanted me to have a bite, so he rubbed his fingers over the picture and had me "eat" a bite. Then he asked, "Do like it? Delishalishes?" I think he handled a big word like 'delicious' pretty well! Of course I like it Bubba, it's very delicious.

"burp cwaw" or "cwash cwaw" are burp cloth and wash cloth. :)

What a joy my kids are!

Come Home

Have you hungered in the wilderness for a peace that your heart knew before?
Have you wandered finding something less when inside you've been longing for more?
If you remember how it used to be when you lived your life more abundantly,

Come home, come home.
If you're tired and weary, come home.
The Father is waiting to welcome His own.
You've been gone so long.
Come home.

You've been searching since you said good-bye like a child with a lesson to learn.
But there's mercy in your Father's eyes as He waits for the day you return.
And it won't matter where your heart has been when He holds you close in His arms again.

Come home, come home.
If you're tired and weary, come home.
The Father is waiting to welcome His own.
And you've been gone so long.
Come home.

Oh why do you keep running from the One who loves you most,
so far from where you know you want to be?
Patiently He's waiting and He longs to hold you close.
Even now He's calling, softly and tenderly:

Come home, come home.
If you're tired and weary, come home.
The Father is waiting to welcome His own.
And you've been gone so long.
You've been gone so long.
You've been gone so long.
Come home.

I wish you could hear it. The very music of this song, let alone the lyrics, seems to speak of God's desire to hold us in His arms, to welcome us back into His fellowship. He is so loving and patient. Let Him hold you today, let Him minister to your heart His deep love for you.

Dashed Hopes

When Nick came home from work tonight, he said that we had been invited to stop by and see Randy and Cheryl tomorrow. Then he came up with the brilliant idea to take the boys and keep me home to do whatever I wanted. I could lounge in a bubble bath, I could take a nap with no interruptions, I could be a woman of leisure! Oh, the possibilities. (Actually, I would probably end up cleaning the house since it would be easier without two little ones under foot.)

Alas, Bubba came in to our room at 11:00pm, early even for him, and has a pretty nasty cough. He had been fine all day...but after plans were made to give me a break, he had to get a cold. Now Nick thinks it would be best to keep him home. (I am sure he is right, but I still dream of a few quiet hours to myself!) That's the life of a mommy. Bubba does sound pretty miserable, I pray he feels better quickly.

Tonight's Bible reading is still in the book of Psalms and the verses I will share with you filled me with such awe and appreciation for God.
Psalm 68:19-20 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death.

How encouraging! Our God bears our burdens every single day. He never takes a break from caring for us.

The dictionary defines sovereign as this: adjective having supreme rank, power, or authority, supreme; preeminent; indisputable, greatest in degree; utmost or extreme, being above all others in character, importance, excellence, etc. How incredible it is to know that God is Sovereign! He is in utmost control of our lives, at the same time giving us free will. When our lives seem full of chaos, God is Sovereign. When blessings overflow, God is Sovereign. Praise God!

Tomorrow I will share the lyrics to one of the songs in the Christmas program the choir is doing. I wish I could let you hear it, it is so beautiful. It is a solo song, for a baritone voice, with an alto duet interspersed through the second verse and chorus. It is so touching, it brings me close to tears. (For those who know me well, you may be thinking 'it doesn't take much', but it really is beautiful.)

I suppose I should try and get some sleep. It's just after midnight and Bubba still hasn't gone back to sleep, so hopefully it will help to have me lay down too.

Oh No! Be Nick Pit Up Gin!

This is Bubba's adorable way of telling me that baby Nick has spit up again! He has decided to shorten "baby" to just the "by" part of it. And no, Bubba is not saying that the baby is drinking alcohol (gin), that's just how he says "again."

Baby Nick has always been a spit-upy baby, but since he has had this cold it has been worse. I think he has so much drainage that it is upsetting his tummy a bit more than usual. Instead of spitting up once or twice right after eating, he will keep "leaking" for the entire time between feeds.

There is nothing more precious than watching Baby Nick adore his big brother. Even at this young age, Joey can make Bug smile bigger and for a longer time than anyone else! I can't wait until he grows just a little more and they can really start ejoying each other more.

I went to choir last night and brought a guest with me. Bubba had a separation crisis as I was getting ready to leave, so he tagged along. He was so good, he made me very proud! He sat very quietly and played nicely. I held him for much of the time and he either laid sweetly on my shoulder or laughed at the quiet games I played with him while singing. He was very well received by everyone else and made a few chuckle. The poor kid though, I didn't realize until we were walking out to the car to go home, that I had put his shoes on the wrong feet! He suffered through that for two and half hours! What's worse, the shoes are getting on the small side anyway, so that would make it even worse. But either he didn't notice, or it didn't bother him, because he didn't complain.

It looks like a fair day outside today...mostly cloudy, but not raining for now. It's really cold for me, but still to warm to snow. It's staying in the mid forties for the highs. The weather people on the news say that "fall is definitely here." I say this is still winter weather and they don't know what fall is! But I guess when winter actually hits, I will be glad for this time of faux fall.

What I Heard God Say.......

I was reading through the Psalms tonight and God brought several scriptures to my attention. I'd like to share them with you.

Psalm 44:5-7 Through You we push back our enemies; through Your name we trample our foes. I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but You give us victory over our enemies, You put our adversaries to shame.

Our enemies, our foes, are not just people who are against us. Our enemies are also immorality, lust, greed, sins of the flesh, etc. Only through God can we push these enemies back and trample them. We may not have a physical bow or an actual sword, however, often we put our trust in our own willpower to be able to defeat our "enemies." But only God is trustworthy. Only through His strength, and leaning on His power can we have victory.

Psalm 50:16-21 But to the wicked, God says: What right have you to recite my laws or take my covenant on your lips? You hate my instruction and cast my words behind you. When you see a thief, you join with him; you throw in your lot with adulterers. You use your mouth for evil and harness your tongue to deceit. You speak continually against your brother and slander you own mother's son. These things you have done and I kept silent; you thought I was altogether like you. But I will rebuke you and accuse you to your face.

There was a time in my life when I "cast [God's] words behind" me, yet I still acted the right way in front of the right people and said the right things...recited His laws. God was silent at that time and I was able to justify to myself that I couldn't be doing anything really wrong, or God would punish me. But God does not stay silent forever. He desires us to come back to a right-standing with Him. 2 Peter 3:9 says, "The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come into repentance." When God is silent, He is neither condoning sin, nor indifferent to it; He is withholding deserved punishment, giving us time to repent. Thank You, God for Your holiness, Your grace, and Your mercy.

Psalm 51:1-12, 17 Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your unfailing love; according to Your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are proved right when You speak and justified when You judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely You desire truth in the inner parts; You teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones You have crushed rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

I know that when I turned my back on God, many people were hurt by my actions. But none were hurt more than God. Even now, several years later, my relationship with God suffers, as there are still barriers that are being torn down. Satan loves to remind me of my failures time and time again. In my weak flesh, often I will believe the lies Satan tells me. I have to start all over, trusting that God has forgiven me and chooses not to remember my sin. At the church I was going to before I moved, Pastor Timmons made the point that often we say God forgives and forgets. However, forgetfullness is a flaw. "I forgot my keys" is a flaw, and we know that God is perfect. It is not that God forgets our sin, he chooses to remember it no more. Hebrews 10:17 says, "Then He adds: Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more." The last part of Jeremiah 31:34 says, "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."

Lord, my deepest desire is that You create in me a pure heart. Draw me into Your presence and fill me with Your Holy Spirit every day. Restore in me the joy I have when serving You and living my life as You would have me live it. Thank You, O Precious Lord, that You do not despise a contrite and broken heart. According to Your promise, cleanse me whiter than snow and blot out all my sins, choosing to remember them no more. I praise You, Lord Jesus; You are worthy to be praised!

"Wherezidit Go?"

I believe this is a mix between, "where is it" and "where did it go." Bubba is constantly asking this question, even when he can see what he is looking for right in front of him. He thinks it is a game, and he is so cute when he says it. He will throw a ball across the room and say, "Wherezidit go?" in a sing-song voice. Then he'll run up to the ball and say, "There zitis!" and laugh!

I am so blessed with Bubba. God has given him a very tender heart, I pray he will always use it. After a particularly difficult phone call yesterday, I was crying. Joey was sitting on my lap and says, "I sorry" and gives me a hug. Then later that evening, I was getting very frustrated with my screaming Bug and let out a howl, and again Bubba said, "I sorry" and gave me a hug. Of course I apologized both to Bubba and Bug for yelling. Because he is so tender, he is so quick to apologize for everything wrong in the world as if he were personally responsible. I just wish I could make him understand that he is one of the things right with the world.

Thank you Jesus for my beautiful, sweet children.

Big Boy

Yesterday, I finally had to break out the 3-6 month clothes for baby Nick. I know, he is only two months old, but like his brother before him, he has quickly outgrown the 0-3 month size. He can still fit in the newborn clothes, however, they are a bit stretched in length, and fit best only when he keeps his legs bent!

Baby Nick has been working on getting a cold, so today we're keeping him bundled up. I had to perform the evilest of all mommy duties....suctioning out the nose. He was not happy. It wasn't my favorite task either. Since he is not feeling well, he is extra fussy. I still am not getting any sleep so I have less patience than normal. Extra fussy + Less patience = Not a fun day!
Doesn't he look so cute all bundled up? The hat doesn't stay on him for long, but at least long enough for a picture.

It's feeding time again........better go make a bottle!