Illogical

I know that the feelings I expressed in my previous post are illogical. I think they are fueled by sleep deprivation. I am so tired, and not because my kids keep me up all night. Every once in awhile they will have a bad night, but on the whole, they sleep better than I.

What I am tired of is my body not allowing me to sleep when I have the opportunity. Like now, the family is asleep, I'm exhausted, yet I can't fall asleep. Now, tomorrow, when I am supposed to be taking care of my kids, cooking a meal, or cleaning the house; that is when my body will say, "I'm ready to sleep now." But I will be unable to sleep because the timing will be wrong.

Baby Nick will fight so hard before falling asleep. Not just screaming, but all out fighting. I get scratched, pinched, and punched by him when he is trying to go to sleep. His body goes almost completely rigid. And I don't think he is fighting because he doesn't want to sleep. I think he is frustrated that he is so tired but not already asleep. I know exactly how that feels. My head is pounding, my eyes are burning, and all other systems in my body have shut down for the day...yet I still lie in bed awake. Frustrating to say the least.

So please forgive the illogical ramblings of a sleep-deprived woman.