No One Knows What They Are Doing

At least, this is what I have found for any government agency I have dealt with here in Alaska.

Before coming to Alaska, I asked Nick to bring a DMV book with him to pick us up so that I could study it and be ready to take the test and get my license. In the book, there is a list of all the forms of ID you need to bring in order to get a license issued. Now, having only one car, we have to rearrange our entire schedules if I need the car for something. Taking a driver's test with a toddler and an infant is impossible, so we had to either try to catch Nick on a day where he didn't have too much work to do during lunch (yeah right!) or I could go to the one DMV office that was open on Saturdays. This was way back last fall that we tried to get my license. When I got there, I had all the required documents in my hand and went up to the counter where the tests were being issued. The very rude lady (and it was first thing in the morning, so she didn't even have time to be having a bad day) said that I could take the test but they wouldn't issue a license until I brought our marriage license in to prove that my name changed from the one on my birth certificate to the one on every other piece of documentation, including my social security card in which verifiable proof of my name change was required to obtain. Now, it would have been one thing, if I had overlooked the part where they told me I needed the marriage license, but as it was, it was not listed ANYWHERE. They made some lame excuse that they had just started requiring it, but they did not make the information available to the general public. Suffice it to say, I still don't have my driver's license.

Today, I had the incredible non-privilege of dealing with the Social Security office. We had applied for Baby Nick's social security card at the hospital, as we were supposed to, and realized nearly six months later that we still haven't received it. We want to finish our taxes and need his number to be able to get full credit for having him. So I called the Social Security Admin to see what I needed to do since I hadn't gotten his card yet. They told me that I had to go to the local office and reapply for the card. They could give me the number at the office, but I would have to bring in his birth certificate and my driver's license and fill out the application in order to get a copy of his card.

So I get the kids up extra early in order to take Nick to work, drive around for ten minutes looking for a parking spot, unbuckle the boys, yank stroller out of the car, and walk gingerly across the ice covered streets and sidewalks, to go through the security post at the door, and wait in line at the office. (If you get my tone, you can see that this was not an outing just for fun.) I had the required documents in hand, filled out the application, and waited my turn. (Thankfully, since I got there before they opened, I only had a few people in front of me.) As I get to the counter, explain the situation and what I need, the lady tells me that she can give me Baby Nick's number, but in order to send for the card, I would have to show proof of identity. Well, I was prepared, so I gave her the birth certificate. Guess what! Apparently, the birth certificate is not proof of identity! They want a passport, or a state photo-id (which needs a social security card to be able to get one) or a Medicaid something or other. WHAT INFANT HAS A PASSPORT, PHOTO-ID, OR MEDICAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (AND YES, I'M YELLING BECAUSE I AM VERY ANGRY!) Oh, and by the way, they will accept an immunization record, stamped and signed by the doctor. The lady thought she was being very nice when she said, "If it helps, when you come back, you don't have to wait in line, just come to my window." PLEASE, lady. I am not about to buckle the kids back up, throw the stroller back in the van, drive to the doctor's office, get the kids and stroller out of the van, to get his immunization record stamped and signed by the doctor, just to throw the kids and the stroller back in the van to drive around looking for parking that I would have to pay for AGAIN, to yank the kids and stroller back out of the van, and try not to kill us all slipping and sliding over the ice covered world, so that I could be grateful that I didn't have to wait in line!! (What an idiot.) Since I don't need his actual card right now, I will probably wait until I am back in a country where sensible people exist.

The one highlight of my trip, was when I was filling out the application, with Joey sitting in the chair next to me, and he says, "I dropped my booger over there." WHAT?!?!?! While I wasn't paying attention, he had picked his nose, and apparently dropped his booger on the floor. He wanted to get down and find it. The security guy that was listening, laughed and told Joey it was probably better off where it was. I was laughing, because Joey is soooo cute, but I could also feel the heat rise to my cheeks as well.

I never want to deal with another government agency as long as I am in this stupid state.