She's Gone...

...And we are all a bit sad. Good-byes have never been easy for me; but ever since last year, they have been nearly impossible.

I was doing just fine all morning, with the best of intentions not to make a big deal of Angie's departure. But as we had to leave her at the airport, the dam broke. Not only did I have to deal with my sister's leaving; all the emotions I felt ten months ago as we left our home and families came crashing back, not having diminished one iota.

Since I still had the boys, I couldn't allow myself to completely retreat and wallow in self-pity (as I SO desired to do). All the way home, Joey kept talking to me and asking me questions, and I had to respond trying my best to choke down the tears. He kept asking me, "Are you done crying yet, Mommy?" I explained that Mommy was very sad, and it is okay to cry when you are sad. But I also told him that I was almost done. We came straight home and took a long nap, and that helped. The rest of the day, Joey kept saying, "We can pick Aunt Angie up at the airport." I wish that were true.

Angie gave us a call after she arrived safely home in Oregon. It was good to hear her voice again, as it seemed pretty quiet in the house tonight. After getting off the phone with her, I cried a little again.

And as I sit here and blog....you guessed it, I'm crying again.

I still have my parents' visit to look forward to. Joey and I started removing links from the paper chain again today. Only thirteen days! But after breezing through a week with Angie, I also dread having to say good-bye to my Mom and Dad. I think it will be the hardest yet.

I want to be back in a place where saying good-bye is only for a day or so, not for months and years. Even with all the technology, I'm still so isolated from everybody. My boys are missing out on so much not being close to their grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. And they are missing out on so much not watching my boys grow and change.

I suppose I should get to bed...everything is so much more dramatic when you are exhausted.