Alone At Night

I'm all alone tonight. Well, except the kids....but that wasn't exactly what I was talking about.
Nick is doing a sleep study tonight. Right now he is hooked up to all sorts of sensors, and if he isn't asleep yet, he probably is watching TV or reading. Of course, if he is reading, then he will be asleep by the time I'm finished with this sentence. Yes, he has the amazing ability to fall asleep in minutes. He just doesn't wake up refreshed, and with is rather loud snoring, he may have sleep apnea. So tonight he will be observed and diagnosed. Hopefully, they will be able to find some way to help.
The boys went down relatively easy, considering that their Daddy is gone. I wonder how soon it will be before Nick comes into my room. Joey has been doing really well, lately, staying in his bed all night long. Even if he gets up, he is easily put back to bed as long as I lay down with him for a few minutes. Nick, on the other hand, usually joins us between midnight and two am. He is not so easily put back to bed, and because he shares a room with Ethan, I prefer not to make a big fuss over it, or I would have two children up in the middle of the night. There are times when I am able to lay Nick down with Joey, but half the time, he just comes back anyway.
Ethan is my best sleeper by far, but I suppose that will change over the course of the next year....if he follows the patterns of his brothers.
I'm a super hero! Did you know that? The other day, Nick was playing on the floor, when he jumped up and climbed in my lab claiming he saw a spider. I looked all over and didn't see anything. He pointed to the slate border of the fireplace, where any bug would be able to camoflauge itself. I still didn't see anything. Finally, the bug made its way onto the white wall and Nick pointed it out to me. It was a tiny flying insect, not a spider, thank goodness for that. So I took my slipper, squished the bug, and disposed of it outside. Nick shouts, "You're a super hero, Mom!" It was the sweetest thing. I beamed for the next few hours.
I'm reaching the point in my pregnancy where I started getting really sick with Ethan. I'm kind of frightened. I don't know how I will handle myslef if I get that sick again. Right now I feel a lot of "constant." I feel "constantly" full, yet "constantly" like I could eat. I "constantly" have no appetite; nothing sounds good, tastes good, or feels good, yet I "constantly" have to have something in my tummy or I feel a bit ill. I have a "constant" feeling of vague ickiness, and occasionally the ickiness is less vague. It's unpleasant, but totally manageable if it would only stay this way. And then I have the "constant" fear that fear will make me feel worse....that because I'm afraid of feeling sick, I'm going to be sick. Like it's all in my head, if that makes sense.
I'm doing much better about taking my pre-natal vitamins, though. That's just because I finally got the chewable Flintstone kind...actually, the generic kind. I never even knew that was an option until after I had Ethan. I don't swallow pills well, and the horse pills they call pre-natals are the worse. They make me gag. And when you already don't feel good, gagging is not the best thing, because once you start, it's hard to stop. Then I read that a Flintsone vitamin has just the same things, and as long as you get 400 mcg of Folic Acid, you're good to go. So that is a pleasant change.
I have yet to find a doctor. I hate just picking a doctor from a list and not knowing anything about them or having a recommendation from anybody who knows them. This is my fourth pregnancy and my fifth doctor! I guess I will just have to pick one and get it over with. I should get an appointment scheduled sooner rather than later since it can take several weeks before anybody is available. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.
Well, since I have the bed to myself for who knows how long, I should go take advantage of it! Have a great week.

Exciting News

Well, the exciting news has been shared. We are pregnant. We are due in September. How do I feel? Excited! I can't wait. I have had the "baby bug" since Ethan was born, and if I had had my way, Ethan and our next would only be 18-20 months apart. In other words, I would only be a month or so from giving birth. I know that most people would find me crazy for that, but that's how I felt. So now that a baby is finally on the way I am thrilled.
Everybody's biggest question (besides 'how does Nick feel?') is if I will be okay if we have another boy. The answer is two-fold. Ultimately, yes, I will be okay if we have another boy. We have a name picked out, which always helps me "personalize" the baby inside. So even if it turns out we are having a fourth son, I will be able to call him by name, and start to love him as I know him before he is born.
Does my heart still yearn for a daughter? Yes! With everything in me, I yearn for a daughter. She has been in my heart since I was 13 years old; that's eighteen years! So, yes, I'm hoping I finally get to hold her in my arms, and not just in my heart.
When it comes time to find out whether we are going to bring Breanna Rose or Andrew Kyle home, I will be on pins and needles. If it's a girl, I will jump for joy, perhaps even cry with joy. If it's a boy, it may take me a few moments to recover. Not that I won't be happy for another son, but my heart will grieve for the loss of a daughter I have loved so long. So there will be conflicting emotions, but I will, nonetheless be "okay".
How am I feeling? I've just barely begun to feel pregnant, so it is hard to answer that. I suppose there is a psychological effect, in that knowing I'm pregnant makes me feel as if I might become nauseated. But so far, I have been okay. I still remember how awful I felt for the first five months with Ethan, and I'm praying that I will not feel even half as bad as that. There are times, usually in the afternoon, that I feel a hint that I might become ill, but again, that could be all in my head. I do feel a little ill when I need to eat, and then again after I've eaten. But it passes quickly. Since we are just at the very beginning of this ride, who can say at this point what it will be like.
Telling the boys was interesting. Joey was in the middle of pouting over not getting two cookies for dessert, so he wasn't as enthusiastic as I thought he might be. He has been saying for a long time that he wants a baby sister. It was funny, though, that when we told them they would soon have another baby brother or sister, both Joey and Nick chimed up "SISTER." They have already decided the baby is a girl. Since we have talked about it before, I asked them to remember who decides if it is a boy or a girl. Again, they both said, "I do. It's a girl."
Tonight as I was putting Joey back to bed (after he had gotten up to tell me that he made his bed all by himself) I asked Joey if he was excited for another baby, if he was going to love his new baby. He said yes and seemed very excited. Then he asked me if Ethan was going to bite the baby. I told him that Ethan would be two years old before the baby was born and that he would know by then that he can't bite the baby. I reminded him that Nick turned two just a few days before Ethan was born, and that Nick loved Ethan and wanted to hold him, not bite him. Then Joey said, "When our new brother Andrew is born, Breanna will be two." Did you catch what he said? He is counting on us having a fifth child, still determined that this one will be a girl!
Just now, Nick is awake and sitting on my lap. He wanted to know what I was typing "all those letters" for and I told him that I was writing about the baby in my tummy. I asked him if he was excited for a new baby, and he smiled real big and said yes. Then he asked me "Will the baby come out of your belly button?" "No, God made a special way for the baby to come out." "How?" "That is something we will discuss when you're older!" Oh, the joys of talking "baby" with a pre-schooler! As cute as he is, I sure wish he would get back in bed! It's ten to one in the morning for crying out loud!
Speaking of the late hour, I should retire myself. The boys get up early enough, without my making it worse by keeping late hours.
Blessed weekend everybody.

Favorite Christmas Toys

This is such an adorable picture of Ethan. What a sweetheart!

Don't my boys look the heroes?! They love to dress up. Actually, they love to play with the handcuffs and put Mom in "jail". Thanks a lot Grandma Mary. (No, I'm serious; thank you. They love it.)

Joey loves his Dollar Tree slinky that his brother Nick gave him. Ethan loves it too, and if he decides he wants it at the same time someone else has it....everyone knows about it! He can be quite the screamer!

Ethan's other favorite, perhaps his most favorite is his Ride-On Dump Truck. He loves scooting that thing around the floor, blowing the horn. This is another toy that the boys are wise to stay away from. Otherwise, the whole neighborhood will hear of Ethan's displeasure.

And one of my personal favorites are the Hulk Boxing Gloves. These things are huge and squishy, so not likely to hurt. They also make sound effects which the boys love. They were given to Joey and Nick since they love to "duke up" but Ethan, once again, has discovered the joy of duking up since getting these gloves. I love how they go all the way up to his elbows, and if he raises his arms over his head, he is hard pressed to be able to bring them back down without falling backwards! He is too cute.
I have noticed over the last couple weeks, that Ethan has absolutely no concept of being a little boy. He, in his own mind, is no smaller than Joey. It's not that he does things that are unusual for a child his age, it is the attitude the way he carries himself when he does them, that shows he is a BIG boy. You'd have to see him to understand completely, but I can't stop laughing at him sometimes. It is clear, crystal clear, that he has two bigger brothers.

Speaking

Ethan has really started picking up words, or at least cadences. I have finally made a list of all that he is saying, and the intentional sounds he makes (not just babble). I can't tell you which one was his first word, or on what day he said it. I know....shameful. I just haven't been paying as much attention as I did when I only had one kid to listen to.

Here are the things that Ethan can say:
mama
dada
Bubba
smash
go
ball
all done
nigh-nigh
Nanny
cheese
juice
stairs
shoes
school
love you
bear
cracker
And the intentional sounds he makes:
ah-choo
woohoo
ta da
ho ho ho (when asked what Santa says)

Nick has also really taken off in his vocalizing, as well. I still have to translate, and there are many times that I can't quite catch what he is saying. But he is getting better. He has much to say, and he is very intentional about what he is saying. When you can figure out which sounds he is substituting for which, you can fare better at understanding him.
He also has the most wonderful giggle and fun sense of humor. He loves the "old classics" like Tom and Jerry, and the early Winnie the Pooh. To watch him watch some of these (and the new favorites like Wall-E and Up) is more entertaining than watching the show. He is such a joy.

Joey is back in school and loving it. He is taking to reading very well. I love watching him sound out words off a box or book. He loves to read road signs as we pass them, and is very logical in guessing what some signs mean. I'm very proud of him.

Nick has been on call this weekend; the first time in many months. He is not enjoying it. I can't say that I am either. He works so hard and long during the week, I like to be selfish on the weekends. Hopefully he will have a slow day tomorrow and won't have to go out at all.

All of us have been sick since before the beginning of the year, except Joey. I think we are all doing better, finally. I just can't kick this sore throat. I may go in to see a doctor next week if it doesn't go away. I hope that we are well enough to go to church tomorrow, as we were all too sick last week.