In one such episode this evening, I put Baby Nick down on the floor so I could take a break from his screaming. Joey came over and, laying half on top of Nick, gave him a hug, rubbed his head and spoke comforting words to him. It was so sweet I had to capture the moment on camera. You can see how unhappy Baby Nick is, but what you can't hear, is the intensity and volume of his screaming. Unfortunately, Baby Nick was not comforted by his brother just as he wasn't comforted by me. As a mother, I am supposed to be able to make my children feel better, comfort them, and take away all their hurts and fears. Not being able to do so makes me feel like I am really no mother to him at all, rather, just a caretaker. It's so discouraging.Saturday, January 20, 2007
Joey Is A Sweetheart
For the last week, Baby Nick has had episodes of uncontrolable screaming. For no reason at all, he will start screaming so loud and hard he can hardly breathe. Nothing I do makes him stop; whether I hold him, put him down, give him his pacfier, take it away, coo at him, shhh at him, bounce him...etc. Nothing. Most of my efforts just get rewarded with a renewed strength in his screaming. Needless to say, after 45-60 minutes of this, I get a bit more than frustrated. Sometimes I have to put him down before I feel like I might lose control and hurt him. I would never hurt him intentionally, but sometimes I just have to step away before I feel like I could.
In one such episode this evening, I put Baby Nick down on the floor so I could take a break from his screaming. Joey came over and, laying half on top of Nick, gave him a hug, rubbed his head and spoke comforting words to him. It was so sweet I had to capture the moment on camera. You can see how unhappy Baby Nick is, but what you can't hear, is the intensity and volume of his screaming. Unfortunately, Baby Nick was not comforted by his brother just as he wasn't comforted by me. As a mother, I am supposed to be able to make my children feel better, comfort them, and take away all their hurts and fears. Not being able to do so makes me feel like I am really no mother to him at all, rather, just a caretaker. It's so discouraging.
In one such episode this evening, I put Baby Nick down on the floor so I could take a break from his screaming. Joey came over and, laying half on top of Nick, gave him a hug, rubbed his head and spoke comforting words to him. It was so sweet I had to capture the moment on camera. You can see how unhappy Baby Nick is, but what you can't hear, is the intensity and volume of his screaming. Unfortunately, Baby Nick was not comforted by his brother just as he wasn't comforted by me. As a mother, I am supposed to be able to make my children feel better, comfort them, and take away all their hurts and fears. Not being able to do so makes me feel like I am really no mother to him at all, rather, just a caretaker. It's so discouraging.
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3 comments:
I understand the unrealistic expectations of what powers motherhood should afford you. Just remember that isn't what is really expected of you and Baby Nick wouldn't trade you for anything or anyone (even when you can't calm his every emotion!). How sweet to see Joey's compassion, empathy, and tolerance! Today will start a week long break of not having to do it alone. Woo Hoo!!
Loving you up close from so far away. Aubrey
Oh Peanut. I wish I was closer to give you some sort of break. I know how hard it is when you can't comfort your child and make everything better but God has given you that beautiful little boy and he hasequipped you to be the best mom you can be. Don't be hard on yourself, relax and just sing and pray those frustrations away!
Remember ITS A HAPPY DAY
ange
Didn't your Mom teach you that you can't fix all your childrens problems? If she didn't, she should have.
I'm with Ange and Aubrey -- too bad we're not closer to help out but please don't be so hard on yourself. Your kids love you very much and wouldn't want any other Mother.
Aubrey made mention that soon you'd have another person there to help out. If she's talking about my Mom - watch out. If I recall, when Aubrey got into screaming fits my Mom would just join her on the floor and scream along with her......Actually, she'll be the greatest support you can imagine. I don't know where I'd be without my Mom.
Mom
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